You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
