Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
