This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
