You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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