My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
