woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
God, I missed his penis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
