Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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