Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
