i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
