I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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