He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
