I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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