I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
