I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
