you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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