And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
