This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
