Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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