he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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