At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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