I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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