i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
