So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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