It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
