We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
