I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
