I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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