stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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