Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
