if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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