Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
