I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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