My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
