I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
