where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
