I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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