Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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