ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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