if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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