Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
