Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
