do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
