Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
