I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
