Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
