two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
