i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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