I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
