Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
