Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
