what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
